Ct. of Appeals Judge Kelly Thompson “sanctions” fisherman in humorous order.

Court of Appeals Judge Kelly Thompson from Bowling Green, Ky. has issued an order “sanctioning” an attorney who sought a continuance of an Oral Argument in order to go fishing. 

 Judge Thompson demonstrates that he is a jurist who has a sense of humor and he has his priorities straight.

 This order provides a reference source for almost every important quote ever made regarding fishing and fishermen.

 We know you will enjoy this as much as we did.

 -Judge Stan Billingsley (Ret.)-

(actual order)

Commonwealth of Kentucky

Court of Appeals

 

NO. 2009-CA-000027-MR

SHARON KULKA, AS TESTATRIX OF

THE ESTATE OF STEPHEN M. KULKA

AND SHARON KULKA, INDIVIDUALLY                                                        S

                                      APPEAL FROM DAVIESS CIRCUIT COURT

v.                                 HONORABLE THOMAS O. CASTLEN, JUDGE

ACTION NO. 05-CI-00615

KISHOR N. VORA, M.D.; OWENSBORO

MEDICAL HEALTH SYSTEM, INC.;

OWENSBORO MEDICAL PRACTICE, LLC,

D/B/A OWENSBORO HEART AND VASCULAR;

AND OWENSBORO MEDICAL PRACTICE,

D/B/A INTERMEDIATE CARE CENTER S

ORDER

ASSESSING SANCTIONS AGAINST COUNSEL FOR

OWENSBORO MEDICAL HEALTH SYSTEMS, INC.

** ** ** ** **

BEFORE:  CAPERTON, LAMBERT AND THOMPSON, JUDGES. 

 THOMPSON, JUDGE:  Appellee, Owensboro Medical Health Systems, Inc., has filed a motion to continue oral argument which contains extraneous and incompetent statements unrelated to the issue of the continuance of the oral argument.  The frivolity and humor exhibited demands that this Court invoke sanctions against appellee’s attorney for his conduct. 

                        For example, the oral argument is scheduled for Tuesday, August 10, 2010.  However, the affidavit by counsel states that one week in March, he goes to Florida or Arizona for major league spring training baseball games.  In addition, he states: 

“Our three children gave my wife and me for our 50th wedding anniversary a trip to New York City and Canada on September 17, 2010 through September 27, 2010.” 

This is obviously an apparent attempt to evoke the Court’s sympathy and allow the continuance of the oral argument.  In addition, appellee’s counsel states: 

“I have been hesitant to file this motion.  I would not want this Court to think that I take lightly my responsibilities as an attorney.  I am a serious baseball fan and a not so serious fly fisherman.” 

                        In addition, appellee’s counsel states: 

“Because I am not sure how many more fly fishing trips I have left in me, I did want to see if I could both argue this case on appeal at a later date and be able to keep my fishing plans.” 

Clearly, these statements are extraneous and not relevant to the oral argument scheduled for Tuesday, August 10, 2010.

                        First, it should be stated that this is an Order and a decision by this Judge of this panel and not by this Court.  Judge Caperton has deferred to Judge Thompson and Judge Lambert has acquiesced. 

                        In deciding this motion, we must weigh the importance of carrying out the business of the judiciary in a timely manner against the importance of fishing.  There being no case law on this subject, this Court has turned to the wisdom passed down by those familiar with fishing and makes the following findings: 

                        “A bad day of fishing is better than a good day of work.”  S. Frank            Smith

                        “If fishing is interfering with your business, give up your business.”            Alfred W. Miller 

                        “Only an extraordinary person would purposely risk being outsmarted        by a creature often less than twelve inches long, over and over again.”    Janna Bialek 

                        “If fishing is like religion, then fly fishing is the high church.”  Tom            Brokaw

                        “Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day.  Teach a man to

                        fish and he will sit in a boat all day and drink beer.”  Quinten          Marquette

                        “The solution to any problem — work, love, money, whatever — is to           go fishing, and the worse the problem, the longer the trip should be.”         John Gierach 

                        “If all politicians fished instead of spoke publicly, we would be at   peace with the world.”  Will Rogers 

                        “There is certainly something in angling that tends to produce a

                        serenity of the mind.”  Washington Irving

                        “The Gods do not deduct from man’s allotted span, the hours spent in

                        fishing.”  Babylonian proverb.

                        “It has always been my private conviction that any man who puts his

                        intelligence against a fish and looses has it coming.”  John Steinbeck

                        “Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is

                        not fish that they are after.”  Henry David Thoreau

                        “All fishermen are liars; it’s an occupational disease.”  J. David Cole,          Sr.       

                        “Are all fishermen liars? Or do only liars fish?”  William Sherwood             Fox (1954)

                        “Fishing is boring unless you catch an actual fish and then it is

                        disgusting.”  Dave Barry

                        “There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore

                        like an idiot.”  Steven Wright

                        “There is no greater fan of fly fishing than the worm.”  Patrick F.    McManus (1979)

                        “Fishing is much more than fishing.  It is the great occasion when

                        we may return to the fine simplicity of our forefathers.” 

                        Herbert Hoover

                        “Men and fish are alike, they both get into trouble when they open

                        their mouths.”  Steve Hixson

                        “A fishing pole is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool on the

                        other.”  Samuel Johnson (1749)

                        “Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars and old clothes.”

                        Don Marquis (1912)

                        “Lawyers, like fish, are entitled to their own existence.”  Mike         Pearson

                        “A fisherman is a man who spends rainy days sitting around on

                        the muddy banks of rivers doing nothing because his wife won’t

                        let him do it at home.”  Sam C. Potter, Jr.

                        “Give a man a fish and he has food for a day.  Teach him how to fish         and you can get rid of him for the entire weekend.”  Paula Potter

                        “Calling fishing a hobby is like calling brain surgery a job.”  Paul     Schullery

                        “Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.”  Charles

                        English, Sr.

                        “There are two types of fishermen, those who fish for sport and those

                        who fish for fish.”  Charlie Moore

                        “Fly fisherman are born honest, but they get over it.”  Ed Zern

                        “Fish come and go, but it is the memory of afternoons on the

                        stream that endure.”  E. Donnall Thomas

                        “Some go to church and think about fishing.  Others go fishing and

                        think about God.”  Tony Blake

                        “I once gave up fishing.  It was the most terrifying weekend of my

                        life.”  Anon

                        “Don’t tell fish stories where the people know you.”  Mark Twain

                        Therefore, after careful consideration, this Court has no doubt that the importance of appellee’s counsel’s annual fly fishing trip far outweighs the importance of having oral arguments as scheduled.

                        It is therefore ORDERED that this Court sanctions appellee’s counsel as follows:  Counsel shall report to Court of Appeals courtroom in Frankfort, Kentucky, on the 13th day of September, 2010 at 12:44 p.m. and report to this Court the results of the fishing trip which is the subject of this Order. 

                        Even though counsel is a fisherman, this Court will trust his report as an officer of the court as to the size and quantity of fish. 

ENTERED: _______________ _____________________________

KELLY THOMPSON, JUDGE

KENTUCKY COURT OF APPEALS

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