LEAKS AT LOUISVILLE COURIER-JOURNAL UPSET JUDGE

By Retired Judge Stan Billingsley

Life’s day to day problems sometimes are very simple in comparison with major issues of war, peace, taxes, the financial stability of my state retirement program, and death, but there is one small problem that bothers me to a great degree. This concerns a quality of life issue, which is of great importance to me.

The inferior plastic bags used by the Courier-Journal guarantee that if there is a drop of rain in North America, my daily newspaper is soaking wet when I go out in the morning to pick it up.
I purchase two newspapers, both published by Gannett publishers. The Louisville-Courier Journal and the Cincinnati/No. Kentucky Enquirer.

The Courier-Journal plastic bags are the cheapest type of plastic bag. Well…I admit the bags at Wal-Mart are worse. (I recently picked up a small bag of groceries at Wal-Mart and the handles ripped off from the weight of two cans of beans and a loaf of bread.) I have never had a newspaper bag rip when I picked up the newspaper.

On the other hand, I find that there can be a deluge and flooding in Carrollton and my Cincinnati/No. Ky. Enquirer newspaper is always bone dry. The quality of the Enquirer plastic newspaper covers are of a higher quality, and I never have the frustration of having to dry out my newspaper in the oven when my wife is trying to cook Sunday dinner.

You may question my right to raise such an argument, without studying the science of the issue.

I have performed a scientific test on the two different types of plastic newspaper cover sleeves.

First I took my Enquirer from the delivery spot in my concrete driveway, and removed the newspaper. I then did the same with my Courier-Journal.

I then took both bags to the kitchen and filled them half full with tap water. The Enquirer plastic newspaper cover held the water and proved that it was not porous.
I then filled the plastic bag in which my Courier-Journal had been delivered. And lo and behold, the bag leaked like a sieve. The bag just would not hold the water. There were twenty or more places in which the water dripped out in discernible streams.

Now I did make one scientific assumption. I assumed that if water could leak from the inside out, that it could also leak from the outside in. While this leaves some degree of doubt, I concluded that my Courier Journal is always wet whenever there is rain, and the Enquirer never allows my paper is wet when I fetch it.

I am satisfied that I have proven by a preponderance of the evidence that there are serious leaks at the Courier-Journal.

Both newspapers are owned by the same corporate trust, Gannett. It hurts my pride that a Cincinnati newspaper is better in any way then my beloved Courier-Journal.
Perhaps I can inspire someone who reads this to perform this test on the plastic bag which the Lexington Herald-Leader comes in, and see if the bag is dry or does it leak?
Perhaps others who are beleaguered by this problem will join with me, and we can march on the C-J building on Broadway Street in Louisville.

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